Writing Is Like Sex, Back to School, Coffee and Jesse Pinkman.

So here I sit in front of my computer, in an eerily quiet house because my kids are back in school, and for the first time all summer, I am actually faced with free time to write!


I scroll through my Facebook feed flooded with back to school photos. I get up and pour another cup of coffee. I go out for a smoke. I comb through emails that have gone unanswered for months. I read a few articles that people have posted. I look at the unfinished posts I started to write but shit the bed on. The Paolo’s series…gotta get back to that at some point. I started writing about the All Good festival I went to this summer, but never finished. They’re so hard to get back into, like the pair of jeans I have from college. So they sit there in my drafts folder, starting at me, taunting me. I give them the finger. For real. I actually gave my screen the finger, because that is what mature 42 year old women do.

It is so quiet in my house. There is dog hair everywhere. Maybe I should be vacuuming instead? I’m so tired, and there’s that Breaking Bad episode on the DVR I haven’t watched yet. I think that Jesse Pinkman is going to bring the whole fucking house down.

Focus. Write.

Writing is like sex in that the more you have it, the more you want it. Once you stop doing it every day (you’re just sooooo tired) you decide a few times a week is enough. Next thing you know it becomes your weekly “duty” and slowly the joy is drained from the experience as it is now an obligation, rather than the immense pleasure it used to be. You have to have a lot of sex. You have to keep it regular, and alive. It fills you with pleasure, with desire and intimacy, connecting you in a way that nothing else can.Β Just like writing, in fact, exactly like writing. I didn’t even think of that before I typed it. I feel smart.

I went to my soon to be sister-in-laws bachelorette party in Philly last weekend. I could write about that. We talked about eating placentas at dinner. It was lovely.

I’m hungry, I think I’ll have a bowl of cereal and think more about thinking what to write about. Shit, I’m out of coffee.Β I’ll brew another pot and while I’m waiting I’ll get on Facebook to post photos of my kids getting on the bus. No one has seen enough kids getting on busses photos this week.

I like to keep it fresh.

31 replies

      • Well it HAS to be writing because I READ it and was touched by your honesty, humor and real personality…just agree and you’ll feel like you made some progress before those kids come home and suffocate your writing time lol

          • I TRY to be – this world needs it – like coffee. You know I’m right! I love your life stories by the way. Even though our lives are different, naturally, with our parents and what happened…(mine divorced so I relate to the painful parts – in a good way) I feel like a kindred spirit. I think what dealed the deal was your Big Wheels post. I loved that fucken thing. I’ve often imagined an adult playground with adult sized Big Wheels! no lie. Thanks for writing stuff like today and stuff that goes deeper. You’re a writer any damn day of the week. xo, Jayne

  1. This post reminds me of my own writing. A post about nothing. Beautiful. Like if Seinfeld had a blog, only funnier. Never give up! Never surrender! Different show. Keep it up, your blog stalkers, I mean Readers, love you. I actually had to go out and look for other blogs to “follow” because I felt creepy that yours was the only one I ever actually read. So this was my response of strung together words to your post of strung together words. Love it. πŸ™‚

      • You want to come add some hilarity to my comments section today? My post is kind of bombing, probably because I used the phrase, “things have been a little retro in my pants recently..”

          • Thanks! The forehead was weird right? I knew you had written about this, I just couldn’t remember how long ago. And now I’m texting my friends looking for loaner pain pills after re-reading your post.
            sounds like I might actually need an epidural though, or a stick to bite down on to muffle my Tourette’s! Fuck…
            Glad you left your link!

  2. Your comment on what happens if you don’t do something often enough was profound and valuable. It applies to exercise, to scientific research, to so many things. That comment has now been copied out and saved, for inspiration.

    • Thank you! The more we do something, the more it becomes habit, and eventually becomes something we miss terribly if we go without…but begin to slip, and stray too far…before you know it your trying to squeeze into those jeans from college.

  3. I think I’ll steal this and put my name on it, because I have the same lack of word putting together nonsense going on right now. I was actually going through old drafts the other day, looking for something to kick-start it again. And Jesse should bring the whole thing down. Walt’s a fucking douche nozzle.

    • I think a lot of people are going through a rut right now, and by a lot of people I mean us. I don’t know how the fuck you got through your Sasquatch series…jesus christ, I have written about 500 words on All Good and then my brain short circuits. Walt is a douche nozzle, but he’s fucking badass.

      • The Sasquatch series killed me. Well, wounded me. It was like 17,000 words. I don’t got no words left. I’ll find them though. Something about cool September air that brings them back. Also, Walt is a total fucking badass. Hank should tread lightly.

  4. you are so right about that. and I’m not doing much of either, writing or sex. i’m happy though, but I really like writing and I really like sex so it’s time to get BACK ON THE HORSE.

  5. Separated at birf!:

    “You have to keep it regular, and alive. It fills you with pleasure, with desire and intimacy, connecting you in a way that nothing else can. Just like writing, in fact, exactly like writing”.

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