Thanks(for)giving…me a gay half naked pilgrim for a cousin.

I know, Thanksgiving is over so who gives a shit, right. Wrong. You’re about to give a shit.

Our family does not fuck around, we take being ridiculous to a whole new level. Particularly me and my cousin Jake Nodar. I’ve written about him here and here, if you have not yet read these, do yourself a solid before you continue, it will only increase your pleasure.

Have I mentioned my Aunt Cheryl can burp the entire alphabet…in one burp? True. She needs a beer to do it, but it’s amazing. It’s a real holiday treat. This Thanksgiving, Jake and I had a wonderful idea. We decided we would dress in full pilgrim attire, and have costumes for the entire family as well. He also had handy a raw chicken for football, and we love props for a photo shoot, duh.

I could write and write and write about how hilarious our family get together’s are, but instead, I will show you.

You Are Welcome.

Being the fabulous gay man that he is, he felt it necessary to wear the shorts. What's really amazing, is that all the kids walk right in past their half naked homosexual uncle dressed in pilgrim attire like it was no big deal. Our kids are going to be cool as shit.

Being the fabulous gay man that he is, he felt it necessary to wear the shorts. What’s really amazing, is that all the kids walk right in past their half naked homosexual uncle dressed in pilgrim attire like it was no big deal. Our kids are going to be cool as shit.

Sun roasted chicken. Delicious.

Sun roasted chicken. Delicious.

Normal.

Normal.

Yeah, nice "tomato plant" centerpiece. Aunt Cheryl was not thrilled.

Yeah, nice “tomato plant” centerpiece. Aunt Cheryl was not thrilled.

That's nice you colored your face with a Sharpie so you would look like "a innian"

That’s nice you colored your face with a Sharpie so you would look like “a innian”

He's more amazing than a Rockette, except when his balls pop out.

He’s more amazing than a Rockette, except when his balls pop out.

Levitating.

Levitating.

Vodka!

Vodka!

Pumpkin Spiced Rum!

Pumpkin Spiced Rum!

Festive.

Festive.

Homosexual much?

Homosexual much?

Leaf nap.

Leaf nap.

It's not worth doing if it's not worth overdoing. Our family moniker.

It’s not worth doing if it’s not worth overdoing. Our family moniker.

My son's all like "what'choo got?"

My son’s all like “what’choo got?”

Jake’s “costume” was really bothersome, so he stripped down to this lovely/retarded ensemble. The vodka/pumpkin spiced rum was in full effect, but this is Jake’s normal. I can’t wait for Christmas.

45 replies

  1. That’s a lot of fun.
    Sometimes having a small family is not fun, to start with I’ll never be the drunk gay uncle, my brother has no intentions of having kids, so there you go.
    That bed of leaves is the perfect place for what Jake did, a potshoot.
    When those short hike up on you, they can cause some damage, no kidding.

  2. I love your brother. He must be great to party with, right? That pilgrim costume was the bomb and actually quite historically accurate. Also, I love your little Billy Idol’s face paint. I swear he looks like him, which is a compliment. I love Billy Idol.

    What am I saying? Nice family.

  3. Tracy – I am inviting myself to your next family dinner. You by yourself are great but a whole family of Tracy’s…deserves a trip down from PA 😉

  4. The only thing that comes to mind (actually, there are a lot of things that come to mind), but the one thing that popped into my head immediately is “leg-shaver”

  5. Why doesn’t Cousin Jake have his own reality show? Why?? And why does my family seem so hopelessly staid and boring all of a sudden? Funny posts, all three!

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