true dat

This is going to be short and sweet, like a micro-penis dipped in powdered sugar.

I have never even looked at a dating site before, so in the name of research and piqued curiosity, I decided I would have a look around the infamous Match.com.

I wasn’t 3 clicks in when I came to this:

Of course I thought to myself, Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!  Bam!  Right out of the gate, I couldn’t believe my good fortune.   What are the odds of clicking  upon such an obviously VERY WEALTHY single black gentleman such as himself.

I was astounded not only by his exceptional Photshop skills and amazing sense of composition, but at the level of thought and planning that went into this collage.  He was intent on getting his message across.  To this I say, loud and clear baby, loud and clear.   The strategic placement of what looks like a penny on his nose is thought-provoking.

They say a picture paints a thousand words, you’re damn right it does.

What confidence, integrity, and class this eligible gentleman indisputably possesses.  And to be so up front about his affluence!   Well, all I can say is that kind of honesty and full disclosure is not only incredibly unusual, but refreshing.

Best of luck to you Mister Black Man Head With A Penny On Your Nose Floating Above Piles And Piles Of Money.

I hope you’re still available if I ever decide to hop on the online dating train.  I would love to roll around in hundred-dollar bills with you and discuss North Korean politics.

14 replies

  1. Oh my God! That is actually one of the best things I have seen online! That is hilarious, I laughed out loud at your comments! ‘Strategic placement of the penny!’ Brilliant! Please do tell me where to find this brilliant man haha!

  2. When’s the first date? He seems like quite a catch. So do they tell you on these sites how long someone’s profile has been up? I mean, I would find it hard to believe someone didn’t snatch him up in minutes…or is he hanging around like the house that never sells?

  3. I was too excited after pirating his profile pic and forgot to gather all of his information as well. I did not catch his username, but tried the obvious such as: Moneyonmyminzzze and Dolladollabillsyou, much to my chagrin I was not able to locate him again. I will keep trying, my heart tells me to.

  4. Do you think he photoshopped it himself? Or is there a service out there for online daters to create the perfect online profile? I think I smell the entrepreneur in me coming out–Ladies love the fat cash photoshopping.

  5. Tracy,
    1. I met The Ringmistress on Plenty of Fish. That’s right, there is hope amidst the bottom feeders;
    2. When you sent me an email to warn me that I was going to leak from my peen reading this post, I came prepared. Now that my cat is back on the floor, wet…
    3. This looks like it could end up on the list of Worst Album Covers of 2012.
    4. Now, my main question is: why would a white bald man photoshop a black man over his face?
    Le Clown

    • Le Clown,
      1. I often wonder how dating works when you are a mother of 2, and no longer banging back Jeagermeister shots at the bar.
      2. I am sorry you have a wet pussy.
      3. Yes it does.
      4. I was wondering the very same thing.
      Tracy

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