it’s milk time kids, finish your burgers!

Dear TIME,

What the fuck?



I guess they really “milked the shit” out of shock value on this one.

Wow.  I’m sorry, but I have an opinion, and I am going to voice it.  Right here, right now.

This is solely MY OPINION, which does not make it gospel obviously, but considering that it’s my blog I’m going to write whatever I want.  Ha-ha.

I’m sorry, but this is ridiculous, or as I like to say, “ri-dick.”  Seriously?  In what world is this a positive thing?

Here’s this hot braless blonde mom, with her ballet flats, skinny jeans and Fuck You Attitude.  Oh yeah, did you notice that there’s a 3-year-old, who looks like he just finished a steak, with his mouth on her tit?

“Here honey, now climb up on this chair, yep, just like that, good boy!  Now mommy is going to pull out my perfectly unflawed c-cup, and then you latch on and smile for the camera!  Whoops, silly me!  You can’t smile because you have my nipple in your mouth with bright lighting and photographers all around!”

Hope this photo shoot paid enough to cover his therapy later, jeez.

Seriously, I feel really sorry for this kid when he enters junior high, with a milk moustache probably.

But then again, it’s a free country, right?

If you want to nurse your kid till they’re 5, then by all means, knock yourself out; it’s your right as a Mother.  I’m certainly not going to propose a ban on nursing.

I bet in North Carolina you could breastfeed your 12-year-old in public, and no one would be offended.  That is, just as long as you’re not gay and trying to claim your full constitutional rights or anything.

If your kid sits at the table and eats a burger, then walks over, unbuttons his mothers blouse and hops on the titty train, who’s really benefitting from that?

Please enlighten me.  Thoughts?

16 replies

  1. You should really do something with that photo. Truly funny. As far as when to quit breastfeeding…I know it’s a personal decision, but come on people! When kids can verbalize that they’d like a cookie to go with it, time to quit. I mean that kid has teeth…and an adam’s apple! Got to say I’m glad to see that his hands are free to text.

    • Annie my dear,
      thank you for making me spit my morning coffee through my nose and all over my computer screen.
      Your last line kicked the crap out of my funny bone.

  2. I exclusively nursed both of my boys for over a year. If I had to do it all over again, I would nurse longer. In most cultures, children are breastfed for 2-4 years. Americans need to get over their breastfeeding hang ups. The photoshopped Time magazine cover is hysterical.

    • Dear Terri,
      Look what you did, you just added a dash of cayenne to the pot! Good morning spicy!
      I do agree that ultimately it is a choice for the Mother, but seriously, the cover of TIME? There’s no way you can tell me that’s not going to come back and haunt that kid. My problem is this, I understand the proclaimed benefits of nursing up until 2. This is admittedly still a stretch for me personally, but when you get to 3 and 4 and even older, there are social stigmas that do exist, like it or not. At a time where children begin to develop a sense of autonomy, I have to ask who this is ultimately benefiting?
      Just my thoughts, and I do appreciate your comment.
      Opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one. Nyuck nyuck nyuck.

  3. TOTALLY WRONG!!! It makes what should be a very bonding moment b/t mother and child a spectacle. Plus look ar your 3 year old boy, would you want him sucking on your tit after he just got done picking worms from the back yard and boogies from his nose!!! REALLY???
    Have a nice day!

  4. Breastfeeding is fantastic, wonderful, and so good for your kids. I did it as long as I could with all three of mine. But once they get to the point where they can say “Hey mom, can I nurse now” it has just gone too far.

    However, my son sang a song about his boner on the way to be dropped off at kindergarten this morning, so who am I to judge.

    • Totally agree, again, let me be clear-I am not anti-breastfeeding. It is all of those things, but seriously, just because your kid might prefer to shit in his diaper till he’s 6, that doesn’t make it right.

      And boys love their boners, forever and ever, amen.

  5. I couldn’t care less about breastfeeding or parenting styles; what’s the big deal? these things go in and out of fashion. but, a parent should respect a kid’s privacy! I don’t know if junior will thank her for immortalizing him on the cover of Time.

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