mommy, you’re sexy

My day started off extra bizarre when my son Logan said, “Mommy, you’re sexy.”

On one hand, sure, it was nice to hear, but so overwhelmingly weird/strange/inappropriate/awkward coming from my six-year-old son.  “What did you say?!”  I said, and he said again, “I think you’re really sexy Mommy.”  The look on my face must have made him feel horrible because tears started welling up in his eyes.  I said, “Where did you learn that word?”  He said, “it was in a song.”  I said, “What do you think it means?”  to which he replied, “it just means pretty, I just meant that you were really pretty Mommy, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was a bad word.”  And the huge crocodile tear spilled from his eye.

What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?  I just gave him a big hug and thanked him, but explained that “sexy” was a grown-up word and that he should just stick with “pretty” for the next 15 years.

So I got them off to school and had to immediately drive approximately 120 mph the grocery store, blurry eyed and cranky because I awoke to discover I had no more coffee beans, AND was dangerously low on smokes.  This is no good for a woman in recovery (one addiction at a time haters.)

People probably thought I was on The Amazing Race or something the way I was tearing through the store, wild-eyed, desperate to reach the coffee aisle (in my work-out clothes but I have no intention of working out.)

And then, like a glowing beacon of joy on the horizon, like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, Aisle 3!  I picked up pace, had my eye on the prize and like a meth head diving at a baggie of fresh crystal, I grabbed and embraced my beloved bag of Starbucks Dark Cafe Verona, Dark Cocoa & Roasty Sweet Whole Bean Coffee.

 

This must be like what a Mother feels when she gets her child back after an Amber Alert, I thought to myself.

At $9.49 for a 12 oz bag, I have developed quite a habit.  Granted it is nowhere close to what I spent on Vodka in a week, but it’s no tub of Folgers either.  I plopped 3 in my cart, that ought to last me close to a week.  Feeling a great sense of peace and stability, I threw a few more items in my cart and proceeded to the checkout.  In Southern PA, It’s always good for some material.

Ironically, ” Hi, My Name is Krystal!” asked me how I was doing today. I took a deep breath and said, “Because I am alive, everything is possible.”  She said she liked that, and I told her it was from a book I had read, “You Are Here” by  Thich Nhat Hanh.  “Who’s that?” she asked.  “Thich Nhat Hanh is a Vietnamese monk, a renowned Zen master, a poet, and a peace activist.” I replied.  “Oh” she said, confused, “I’m not real book smart, I’m more street smart.”  In which I heard, “I’m not real smart, I’m imaginary smart”.  I told her to have a great day!

From there I headed to the service desk to purchase my other overly priced and unhealthy addiction, cigarettes.  I felt super classy and sophisticated, buying a carton of smokes in my Race For The Cure shirt.  The woman in line behind me gave me a smug smile as if to say, “Well aren’t you just a walking contradiction?”  To which I gave her a smile that said, “Isn’t it lovely that you still think it is 1985 and that you are still enjoying the benefits of wearing pleated pinstriped jeans!”  But I told her outside of my head that I hoped she had a great day!

I returned home and filled my Miele built-in coffee maker with the intoxicating fresh beans, and made myself an absolutely heavenly, and I mean heavenly cup of coffee.  I sat on my porch with my coffee and my cigarette, pondering what on earth I was going to write about today.  I had a brief moment of fleeting guilt over not working out.

But It didn’t matter that I was in my work out clothes and not going to work out, I thought to myself.  Because I’m sexy.

7 replies

  1. Ahh! Our little boys they are the best because they just love us and even when they flub the compliment it is just love — wallow in it — my little boy is now 27 and tries too hard sometimes to “guide me” so I choose to just rememeber the luvy flubs…you sre so lucky to have that small man right now.

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