mommy, you’re sexy

My day started off extra bizarre when my son Logan said, “Mommy, you’re sexy.”

On one hand, sure, it was nice to hear, but so overwhelmingly weird/strange/inappropriate/awkward coming from my six-year-old son.  “What did you say?!”  I said, and he said again, “I think you’re really sexy Mommy.”  The look on my face must have made him feel horrible because tears started welling up in his eyes.  I said, “Where did you learn that word?”  He said, “it was in a song.”  I said, “What do you think it means?”  to which he replied, “it just means pretty, I just meant that you were really pretty Mommy, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was a bad word.”  And the huge crocodile tear spilled from his eye.

What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?  I just gave him a big hug and thanked him, but explained that “sexy” was a grown-up word and that he should just stick with “pretty” for the next 15 years.

So I got them off to school and had to immediately drive approximately 120 mph the grocery store, blurry eyed and cranky because I awoke to discover I had no more coffee beans, AND was dangerously low on smokes.  This is no good for a woman in recovery (one addiction at a time haters.)

People probably thought I was on The Amazing Race or something the way I was tearing through the store, wild-eyed, desperate to reach the coffee aisle (in my work-out clothes but I have no intention of working out.)

And then, like a glowing beacon of joy on the horizon, like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, Aisle 3!  I picked up pace, had my eye on the prize and like a meth head diving at a baggie of fresh crystal, I grabbed and embraced my beloved bag of Starbucks Dark Cafe Verona, Dark Cocoa & Roasty Sweet Whole Bean Coffee.


This must be like what a Mother feels when she gets her child back after an Amber Alert, I thought to myself.

At $9.49 for a 12 oz bag, I have developed quite a habit.  Granted it is nowhere close to what I spent on Vodka in a week, but it’s no tub of Folgers either.  I plopped 3 in my cart, that ought to last me close to a week.  Feeling a great sense of peace and stability, I threw a few more items in my cart and proceeded to the checkout.  In Southern PA, It’s always good for some material.

Ironically, ” Hi, My Name is Krystal!” asked me how I was doing today. I took a deep breath and said, “Because I am alive, everything is possible.”  She said she liked that, and I told her it was from a book I had read, “You Are Here” by  Thich Nhat Hanh.  “Who’s that?” she asked.  “Thich Nhat Hanh is a Vietnamese monk, a renowned Zen master, a poet, and a peace activist.” I replied.  “Oh” she said, confused, “I’m not real book smart, I’m more street smart.”  In which I heard, “I’m not real smart, I’m imaginary smart”.  I told her to have a great day!

From there I headed to the service desk to purchase my other overly priced and unhealthy addiction, cigarettes.  I felt super classy and sophisticated, buying a carton of smokes in my Race For The Cure shirt.  The woman in line behind me gave me a smug smile as if to say, “Well aren’t you just a walking contradiction?”  To which I gave her a smile that said, “Isn’t it lovely that you still think it is 1985 and that you are still enjoying the benefits of wearing pleated pinstriped jeans!”  But I told her outside of my head that I hoped she had a great day!

I returned home and filled my Miele built-in coffee maker with the intoxicating fresh beans, and made myself an absolutely heavenly, and I mean heavenly cup of coffee.  I sat on my porch with my coffee and my cigarette, pondering what on earth I was going to write about today.  I had a brief moment of fleeting guilt over not working out.

But It didn’t matter that I was in my work out clothes and not going to work out, I thought to myself.  Because I’m sexy.

7 replies

  1. Ahh! Our little boys they are the best because they just love us and even when they flub the compliment it is just love — wallow in it — my little boy is now 27 and tries too hard sometimes to “guide me” so I choose to just rememeber the luvy flubs…you sre so lucky to have that small man right now.

Your thoughts, experiences and opinions here...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s