keep the change.

When I was drunk I used to have a fucking blast amusing myself. The world was my playground, and I was usually the obnoxious, bossy kid that would throw sand in your face and then point and laugh, metaphorically, of […]

Closing Time

It was my cousin’s baptism. I was 13. We celebrated at my uncle’s place. There was a great deal of alcohol, and drugs. My mother thought it would be funny if I joined the festivities by handing me my very […]

go to jail, ding-dong.

I’ve gotta brag, I’ve never been to jail.  Juvie, sure, but not actual jail. There are at least 47 occasions on which I should have been thrown in jail.  Somehow I managed to dodge that bullet, but regretfully I don’t […]


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