Hello : My Name Is Tracy

My name is Tracy Fulks, but I was born Tracy Records.

I am a Mom.

I love strong coffee and have the unfortunate penchant for Marlboro lights.

I am learning how to not fuck up a relationship.

I love to laugh more than anything else.

I am in my 3rd year of sobriety.

I have a large collection of pajama pants which I prefer over anything else.

I am learning about humility.

I am not a big shopper, but if I ever spend too much on anything, it’s jeans and sunglasses.

I am learning about the importance of service to others.

I love the summer and detest the winter.

I love to socialize just as much as I love to isolate.

Sometimes the best part of my day is taking off my bra.

I am learning to shut down the committee in my head.

I will never give up cheese.

I am learning not to hate my thighs and to accept the aging process.

I love a good pen and a sharp pencil.

I am my own worst enemy.

I struggle with my emotions.

Painting gives me satisfaction.

I am fascinated by the human condition.

Writing gives me solace.

I am secretly a fan of the Dickie.

I am a fierce competitor.

I still find poop talk funny.

I will be 43 in one month.

I can’t not watch Cast Away or Million Dollar Baby if they’re on.

I don’t care if my closets and drawers are messy.

I think Twin Peaks, Lost, and Breaking Bad were the best shows ever.

I love Augusten Burroughs, David Sedaris, Chelsea Handler, and Nora Ephron.

I still have a piece of pencil lead from 2nd grade stuck in the palm of my left hand.

Self discovery is hard.

The smell of freshly cut grass makes my soul happy.

Tangled coat hangers take me to Defcon Level 3 frustration instantly.

I love the color orange.

I will never be able to fold a fitted sheet.

I am an Aquarius.

I have an addiction to Words With Friends.

I can complicate a one car funeral.

Who are you?

44 replies

  1. I am someone who also has pencil lead in her hand and loves little more than taking of her bar and jiggling those puppies at the end of the day. What else? I’m someone who loves strawberry daiquiris, despite wishing I were sophisticated enough to enjoy a dirty martini.

  2. Orange – yes!!!
    Not my thighs I have a problem with, but the spare tire around my waist…
    For me, it’s O Brother Where Art Thou that I have to watch
    Farts are also funny…..

  3. As a younger boy, I got stabbed with a pencil in my thigh. And by stabbed, I mean I had a pencil in the pocket of my way too tight little boy jeans, and I sat down on the schoolbus. It stayed lodged inside my carcass for upwards of one calender year. Luckily, my doctor said that my thighs were way too muscular for the lead to do any damage to me. Then one day it just popped out during bath time. It was probably because of all the bubbles. I always loved me a good bubblebath before Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom came on.

    • Thank the good lord for your muscular thighs and predilection for bubblebaths. Your story could have had a much different ending. Like the pencil lead came out in the shower and you watched Gilligan’s Island.

  4. Scruffy,
    I’m an Orange Crush Swindler and there is a side of myself that gets fairly unstable around most jiggling . . . especially the kind that accompanies giggling. My tendencies to view reason as optional has landed me in some interesting places over the years – your blog is one of them.
    Scruffy

  5. Trace, I’m looking forward to the 13 volume book series you produce on how not to fuck a relationship, and, of course, the blockbuster RomCom and ensuing TV Miniseries…no really, I need to know whatever it is you know about this stuff…sending subscription now.

    • I second this book idea. I also am learning how to not fuck up my relationships, and any advice from a fellow relationship fucker-upper would be welcomed.

      I would also add to this list that you are a beautiful human being who can heal others through laughter. Getting your post in my inbox is like opening a little gift of giggles.

    • Honestly, I know a lot more about fucking relationships up than not fucking them up…so I am learning to do the opposite of what I think is right and then it usually works out. It’s a hell of a ride.

  6. I am Michael Landefeld.
    I am a father of two tremendous teenage kids.
    I am a husband, married for 21 years to an incredible woman.
    I am a Christian (Lutheran – ECLA)
    I am an active member of a recovery program for 18+ years.
    I am 45 years old.
    I enjoy smoking cigars with friends by my fire pit in the back yard on cold days.
    I am bald.
    I love tailgating on Ravens game day.
    I am a youth mentor for the Delaware-Mayland ELCA.
    I am talkative.
    I am an yogi.
    I take great pride in watching my daughter perform on stage whether it’s dance or theater.
    I get a kick out of watching scifi and fantasy films with my boy.
    I love going to church on Sunday mornings (@ Faith Lutheran in Cockeysville).
    I am mostly deaf in my left ear.
    I enjoy lying in the middle of a grass field.
    I love watching baseball on tv at our beach house with the door open so I can hear the ocean in the background.
    I am a pinup artist.
    I am a procrastinator.
    I appreciate the beauty of untouched snow.
    I love my UGG Slippers.
    I am a sucker for pop bands with female lead singers.
    I love the smell of concrete and dirt, and motor oil and cigarettes. It reminds me of my childhood.
    I love a good, gooey chicken cheese steak with everything.
    I delight in crowds during Christmas time.
    I am passionate about my beliefs.
    I love a broken in pair of Vans.
    I am a lover, not a fighter.
    I am an optimist.
    I believe love will always conquer hate.

  7. I still have a piece of pencil lead from 2nd grade stuck in the palm of my left hand.

    Mine is stuck in my right cheek (and not the one on my face). Since fifth grade.

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