sandy makes me hungry

OK, Sandy is really pissing me off.

 

First of all, I get it, there’s a big hurricane coming, we are getting the outer bands now, it will rain and be windy for the next 24 hours. Everything will be closed, we will lose power, and shit will flood. Got it. But seriously, the local news is so fucking overdoing it. They do not need 24 hour coverage with newscasters standing in raincoats on the beach and in the grocery store parking lots interviewing patrons who just want to get their shit and get out of there. Stupid.

I mentioned yesterday that I had no voice, well I still don’t. My kids, who are out of school because schools have closed, are really taking advantage of me not being able to yell at them. The new phrase is “but I didn’t hear you!” That’s the excuse that entitles them to have free reign right now.  As I sit typing this, they are upstairs taking turns crying over something the other took from them. I’m just drinking my coffee relishing in the fact that we still have power, because I know that is not going to last, then the real fun begins.

And I don’t know what it is about Sandy, but she makes me hungry. Like Kirstie Ally hungry. Like I want to melt cheese on everything and eat it. All day. The kids too, it is 9:30 am and they have already begged me for cookies and ice cream about 47 times. They’re supposed to trick-or-treat Wednesday night, which will be a cold muddy fuckfest if it happens at all. Nothing like feeding a bunch of kids who have been cooped up for three days bags full of candy and then watching them bounce off the walls, while simultaneously having emotional meltdowns. Happy Halloween!

I took about an hour break after I typed the first few paragraphs to go do laundry and other shit I will not be able to do soon, and in that time, I have watched this storm get angrier. The winds are freaky, they’re saying up to 85 mph gusts now. The Mayor just came on and thoroughly freaked me out. Shitballs. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go melt cheese on something immediately.

17 replies

  1. Stupid weather people is right! I like when they are holding onto something, wind blowing in their faces and they are trying to talk! Why?
    and cheese is just better on everything…..good luck with the kids. This is one time I will be happy I have a teenager ;)

  2. Cheese! Why did I not think of that? I always thought that it was stupid for news people to stand out in a storm to report the news – how stupid is that? But, funny when a wave takes their ass out… Enjoy!

    • Yes Russ, cheese will indeed make a hurricane better. If I could be eating a grilled cheese while watching a weather man being taken out, then I my hurricane experience will be complete.

  3. Yes they tend to overplay stuff. Better over than under,so later on people can’t say they were not warned. Honey in peppermint tea can help your lovely mom voice come back. I wonder how bacon with melted cheese would taste??? Be Sage (typo I will let stay) be safe too… hey from a tornado survivor in Alabama

  4. Natural disasters now cause Pavlovian responses:

    1. Newscasters are required to forecast doom while standing in the middle of a wind-blown, heavy rain or snow storm;
    2. People run to the local supermarket and buy a lifetime supply of toilet paper, bread, milk and ice. (This may explain your insatiable need for cheese.)

    What piques my curiosity is what happens to the lifetime supply of toilet paper. Do people have to go to the bathroom MORE often during disasters than at other times? I’m not sure that I want to know.

  5. I always wondered about reporting a storm whilst standing outside and simultaneously warning people to stay indoors.
    As for cheese – there’s no food that cannot be improved with melted cheese. Fact!

    • Because Ted’s the office dork but he doesn’t know it. Everyone nominates him to do the live on-location storm shoot and he thinks it’s because they all look up to him and admire his skills. Little does Ted know, the staff is all at the local pub slugging back beers having a good old laugh watching him get blown away down the coastline.

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