life is hard : the new bumpersticker

I get so annoyed at those stupid fucking Life is Good! bumper stickers of the happy stick figure families that I could jab my eyes out.

They are just gay, nobody cares about your kids or your pets except you!  Additionally they imply that your family is just this perfect little drawing filled with puppies and kittens and rollerblading and soccer and yoga!  Bullshit.  How about the fact that Dad’s an adulterer, Mom has a drinking problem, big sis has an eating disorder and little brother has ADD/OCD?  Those stupid ass stickers just further perpetuate The Joneses’ and I’m not buying into it.  Nobody’s perfect, and let’s face it, life can be hard.  What if you’re a single struggling Mom because Daddy was a douche and left you high and dry?

I decided to have a little fun.  Let me make this clear before anyone decides to give me shit…I am not implying that these are things women must do to make money, yes, we are smart as hell and resourceful so this is not a general stereotype…this is humor people.

You’re Welcome.

 

Have a great day!

49 replies

  1. I wonder if there is a correlation btwn those stupid family stickers and those that wear cooridnated ‘outfits’ when they take family pictures. I HATE coordinated clothing pictures. What’s the difference btnw everyone wearing khaki pants and (gag) collared white shirt and a prison uniform? WHY DOES EVERYONE FEEL THE NEED TO BE THE F’ING SAME???

  2. It’s like you have a window in my dark, twisted soul. I was just thinking this morning as I dropped off my brats at school how much I hate those damn bumpers stickers plastered on the backs of SUVs. They’re freaking irritating. Like, look, not only are we using too many resources with our SUV, we’re also overpopulating the planet with our five little stick figures! Also, see our dog and cat!

    I have a friend who lives with her husband and their girlfriend. She was thinking of putting all three on as well as her two children. I think that would rock. Even better would be to add an alien in the middle of it or something.

    Your ideas are great. How did you make pole dance woman with a stick figure? Your talents are endless.

  3. Gotta love the pole dance, see, I have a good friend who is a pole dancer, she has a daughter and left her husband because he was an uttered jerk, they are, to my eyes a perfect family, girl is in college and mom works during the day as any other person would do. Those stickers of happy families with a dad a mom, dogs that dot chew on shoes and cats that don’t be pee on the carpet are way out of date.
    Life is now what the picture on the Watchover magazine.
    I gotta put one of those as a screen saver on my phone lol

  4. My husband sent me your link as he knows exactly how I feel about those bumper stickers, I’m looking for one that has a woman spearing all those happy people…just because…:)

  5. Is this where I jump in and say that in addition to those stick family stickers, I also hate, with the white-hot heat of a thousand suns, the decal tombstones popping up all over. Got it. Someone you love died. Welcome to the human race.

    Holy shit. I sound like a heartless bitch. I’m really not, but emblazoning one’s grief on a window decal is so . . . yuck.

    • WTF??? Tombstone decals? Are you freaking kidding me? I have yet to see one, and rest assured, once I do they will be my next white-hot heat of a thousand suns target.

      No you do not sound like a heartless bitch (this coming from me, which means about nothing) you just happen to have what is commonly referred to as “common sense”.

      If I see someone with one of those decals I’m going to pull them over and throw a rock at them, just for being so stupid.

  6. Dear long lost twin,
    Did you make these? Are you trying to tell me that you are witty, bright, funny and fucking creative? Well why don’t you just fuck off. This blogosphere is mine, fucktard.
    Le Clown

    • Dear Le Clown,
      I have missed you so. I have not bantered with you in 2 days and that is unacceptable, so please don’t let it happen again. And yes, of course I made them, I am brilliant and talented beyond your wildest imagination, because I can draw sick-figure pole dancers. I am happy to share the blogosphere with you, you big douchy clown fuck.
      Tracy

  7. Love this. This is MUY awesome discovered you not on Freshly Pressed which is weird, considering that’s where I’d find you. But I it was on the Daily Post Focus on Humor Blogs. Very cool. Most of the time I stick to humor, but every now and then life happens :) Glad I found your post … it made me laugh :)

  8. A great post…. never cared much for bumper stickers… always irritate me… also cause for me to see them, it means i’m stuck behind.But I wanna be in front and just go go go

  9. Gotta say Tracy…..I’ll take those stick figure people to the Death Notices any day! Talk about a buzzkill. I’m jamming to Englebert. Singing and wiggling in my seat and then, dang, Grandma’s dead. aw shit

  10. I just came across your blog and found this post. LOVE your bumper stickers! I hate the little stick people families almost as much as I hate the stupid affirmation quotes I get bombarded with on FB every freaking day.

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