Oh dear god.
I just can’t stop, my naturally addictive personality is all over this like Prince Harry on the pink.
Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?
This is really spectacular. Are you taking a shit? Getting a Blumpkin? Whatever it is I want no part of it.
His caption read “LET’S GO FISHING!” So clever, get it, Plenty of Fish, Let’s go fishing…in case you didn’t get that he clarified it on his profile. PS, your hat makes you look fat.
Why what a lovely abode! The dream catcher really makes the place, I can so picture myself naked in there with you. This was his first pic, then I shit you not, this was his second:
I don’t even know what to say to that, but I swear to god I did not make this up.
Sometimes I’m actually speechless. It doesn’t happen often, but this did it.
OK, the BEST part about this, is that he says he’s 39. Yeah, and my tits are filled with peanut butter.
Hi Pat! I know, I know…take a moment to wipe yourself. Wanna know the best part? He loves working out.
Excellent, how nice of you to take a break from the porn channel and your corona and your shitty polyester comforter to take this. FYI that cat on your bed is the only pussy you’re going to get.
Awesome purple henley, you must be having a rocker in your Mom’s basement! She’s so cool to let you still live there, considering you’re 47. In case this wasn’t enticing enough, this was his second photo:
That just did it for me, what’s your address, I can’t get over there with the lube fast enough.
You are clearly in a blackout. Great foresight to take your profile pic before you pass out in a pool of your own Gin flavored vomit. PS, your bangs are most excellent.
I don’t know which one you are, but it makes not a bit of difference. The fact that this is 10 years ago scares me almost as much as the fact that your name is “Lemmy”.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Nice Hair, did you fashion that with your own ejaculate?
Thank you for choosing the panoramic option, and leaving in the bug fogger on the top of your fridge. Can we set it off on our first date while I’m blowing you?
Awesome ride dude. Thanks for letting us know that you don’t care about the little things, like your car ceiling falling off on your head, or sleeves.
Am I supposed to feel like I’m on top of you? I will never put a quarter in this ride. PS, your fingernails are pretty and I bet your beard smells like old bacon and cigarettes.
When Grandma’s away, Grandpa will play. It’s OK, he’s only interested in “a casual encounter.” Ew.
His beer is 1/3 as important as he is. PS, where is your upper lip?
He is obviously very respectful of women. I sure hope he’ll use that oval on me one day when he’s finished! PS, Google “how to crop a photo.”
That’s it for now, feel free to go change your underpants.