August 2012 is a month with two full moons, but blue in name only. The first full moon was August 1. The second full moon is today – August 31, 2012.
So, here is my imaginary list of 10 things I would (never) do “once in a blue moon”
1. Wear nothing except a propeller hat and my bluetooth to drop my son off at preschool.
2. Wear a snowsuit to the beach in July, and cook green beans in a pot over a Coleman stove while making balloon animals for children.
3. Mash a bottle of ketchup and the dog leash under my tire and tell the children at the bus stop that I accidentally ran over our puppy.
4. Bring a dozen balloons home for my kids, but accidentally on purpose let them fly away right before their eyes.
5. Tell my kids that I was taking them to Disneyland, but take them to an abandoned building instead and tell them that Disneyland burned down.
6. Show up at the bus stop in white pants with fake blood all over the seat and see if anyone says anything.
7. Set up a full bar at an AA meeting.
8. Wear Lilly Pulitzer and not use profanity.
9. Dress to the nines, dripping in expensive jewelry and holding a Gucci handbag while trying to panhandle in the Wegman’s parking lot.
10. Be a door to door dildo salesman.