the 5 day headache

Holy Mother of God do I have a headache.

I’ve had it for 5 freaking days now. wtf?  It freaks me out, is it stress? allergies? the 900 cigarettes I smoke? the worlds stiffest neck?  brain tumor? grinding my jaw at night? did I forget about a tampon last week and am suffering toxic shock?  I’m giving myself a headache thinking about why I have a headache.  It’s ridiculous.  I haven’t had a headache like this since I was drinking.  It’s like a 4 long island iced teas, 2 dirty martini’s, a bottle of champagne and a few tumblers of scotch and 3 hours of sleep kind of headache. I’ve tried 47 cups of coffee, excedrin migraine, motrin, copious amounts of water…nothing’s touching it.

Actually, not true.

My 4 year old’s glass-shattering shriek as he doesn’t beat a level on Mario touches it.  As I watch these letters appear on my screen, each one sends a needle into my eyeballs.  But I needed to check in.  Since Freshly Pressed, I picked up a lot of followers and I don’t want to disappoint, even though this post will ultimately do just that.

At least I’m powering through and showing up for my imaginary job of blogging.  Such integrity, I know.

It’s the kind of headache that makes you want to crawl back into the womb.  Dark and cool and quiet and weightless.  I need a simulated womb.  But instead, I have to be event coordinator, project manager, chauffeur, personal chef and referee to my two young boys.  That is anything but awesome today.

Please help…do you have a magical cure for headaches?  I’ll try anything.  If you fix me I can get back to writing funny shit.

24 replies

  1. pinch the area between your thumb and index finger on either your right or left hand, or both. the soft, squishy part that is mostly skin. it is a pressure point. pinch as long as you can, very firmly. discontinue the headache meds (ibuprofen, etc) for a while, 12 hours or so. if you have been drinking excessive coffee, stop it. orgasms also work wonders. if this does not help see a doctor. also, if there have been any recent med changes before this came on, see a doctor.

    look up ‘rebound headache’ on the computer.

    I will visualize love and light and healing for you.

  2. Chocolate. milk chocolate. let it melt in your mouth by kind of sucking on it…and the orgasm..as long as it’s not super rough and crazy to get there. just be like most guys and make sure you do none of the work.

  3. You need a prescription – you’re having a full blown migraine. I use Imitrex. It works wonders for the migraines I have that cause seriously sharp pain in my head from noise, sensitivity to light, nausea, etc.

  4. I have to agree with the prescription drugs comment above. When I get headaches that bad the only thing that touches it is sleep and/heavy medication. If one cup of coffee doesnt help, stop the coffee-it’s only gonna make it worse at that point. Peppermint oil on the temples and inhaled helps if its not a wanna-throw-up-wheres-the-gun headache.

    • oooh and if you havent got that massage yet-see if they can use essential oils on you-I had one with lavender oil once that had me floating on a cloud.

  5. I recently came acros a Youtube video on yoga. The techniques requires that you rub the palms of your hands and then place them on your feet. I don’t know if this technique works, but it is perhaps worth trying it before going for more medication. Here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYDtd2RlhZ8&list=UUsVQi0GCmZZq0soNhm93P1A&index=23&feature=plcp
    If you don’t want to listen to the whole video, go straight to minute 4. I hope it works! Another tip, have you tried acupuncture?

  6. Wish I could help. I also think you need to see A doc ASAP. Please, I have personal experience with a family member that had headaches. Just keeping it real girl…

    • Thanks, I had a deep tissue massage yesterday, and today is the first day I have actually woken up without it! I feel like I have a “headache hangover” though…just exhausted.

  7. OMG — I had a 6 day one last week (started feeling better on Sunday) but tried all the same things. Be glad you have some Excedrin Migraine … I ran out only to find out that it has been pulled from the shelves. I actually called the manufacturer to ask when it will be back on the market – not till October :-( I feel ok today (11 days later) but still have a lingering mild headache. I think I may try the massage myself! Hope you continue to feel better. Take care!

  8. It might be a sinus headache. If it is, it might help to press on the little depression that lies behind the middle of each eye brow, and also to press and rub right where the muscles on the back of your neck feel as though they are entering your skull. If that doesn’t work, a doctor can clean out the sinuses, but it is not fun.

    Good luck.

  9. Next time – god forbid – prescription Imitrex shot that you self administer. It looks like something out of Star Trek (the delivery system will keep your four year old occupied (read: quiet) for hours after you use it). The pain of the air injenction hurts so much you forget about your migraine for the few minutes it takes to work. If that doesn’t work, I like to fantisize about banging my head about … sorry for you Tracy!

  10. Oh I wish I’d seen this post – I’m a longtime multiday migraine person…
    I’ve staved most of it off by taking a vitamin B complex pill daily.I wouldn’t have believed it true until I tried it (via advice from a neurologist) – I used to get a monthly migraine without fail and since I started taking a daily dose of Vit B – I’ve only had about two bad migraines in over 2 yrs.
    Maxalt (prescription) will work as well – but it’s like $15/pill – so I don’t like to use it unless it’s an emergency…like a 5 day headache or imminent (sp) vomiting.

    Last resort? Vicodine with a Tigan chaser (it keeps the nausea at bay)…sometimes accupuncture can help as well.

    Migraines suck – like nothing else…

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