For those of you who are not bloggers, we have something called our “stats page”. This is where you can find out exactly how many people have viewed your page, which posts, on what days, from which countries…and what search engine terms people are using to click to your site.
This is astonishing to me. This is early in the morning, so by the end of the day, I could have like 20 views in Pakistan. First of all, it blows my mind that people all over the globe can, or would read my crappy little blog. And how did it get to them? How did they stumble across it?
That is when you can look at search engine terms that were searched for to get a better idea. This is also where you can realize that you have some really super-duper content in your blog based on the searches.
The “Top Search Engine Terms” is very interesting/creepy/hilarious. For example, these are copied off my stats for the past 2 days:
That is just wonderful, isn’t it? Who Googles “sexy womens all naked fucked by men” and why is that linking to my site? That is a better question. And “bad tattoos my poo”? wtf? People are plain old nutty.
Here’s another:
Are these searches snapshots of the content of my blog? Of the inner workings of my brain? If so I am even more awesome than I thought.
I love love love that someone actually searched for “bacon for working out”. That is a delightful thought indeed. “Today I’m going to eat bacon, and I will consider the physical act of eating the bacon my workout.” Amen, Power to the people.
It’s amazing what people will search for, and almost more amazing that you can Google just about anything and find whatever freakshow you’re looking for. Apparently I’m one of them. Hooray for me! Shout out to Pakistan! Holla Viet Nam!
Hi Tracey
I stumbled across your blog while searching for the cause of my stomach aches, you guessed it – dried apricots! I couldn’t stop laughing as I read your post. I literally just told my mum to read this post and throw the apricots from the kitchen.
Love your work- Hi from Oz!
Seriously, throw those things away NOW! They will wreak havoc. Good luck with the tummy, lesson learned, eh?
Tracy
how about someone didn’t get what they were looking for by simply searching for incessant buzzing of bees, so they had to put (and have the attention span/energy to put) quotes around it to get literally the “incessant buzzing of bees”…i’m pretty sure if you are wondering abou the incessant buzzing of bees, you should get the hell away from whereever you are…
I think bacon for working out is an awesome idea, if only I could get rid of the incessant buzzing of bees in my head
Evidently you are loved in Alaska too T-rock!
I LOVE looking at my stats. Though I don’t have the strange search words that have brought people to yours!
I just did a post on funny search terms a few days ago. They make me laugh almost daily. You have some great ones. The bacon for working out one is awesome.
Ha! I just read your post, it’s hilarious isn’t it? It is always a great kick off to my day, as good as, say eating bacon and considering it a workout.
I love this…you know why? Because, I love reading the stats too. Cracks me up.
P.S. I’m huge in Kenya today…go figure.
Tracy,
Two visits from Canada! It’s Le Clown and his ego.
Le Clown
Hey!! Im from India and seeing that little one made me feel really proud of me
so Yaay me 
! and i stumbled upon your blog when i was trying to start my own blog.
You make me laugh like a retard!
I love it! I am proud of you, and all you Indians.