I’ve gotta brag, I’ve never been to jail. Juvie, sure, but not actual jail.
There are at least 47 occasions on which I should have been thrown in jail. Somehow I managed to dodge that bullet, but regretfully I don’t have a really cool mug shot and accompanying story to tell…
Like these folks:
Excuse me Sir? Are you having a nice nap? I thought only cattle and horses could sleep standing up? Oh buddy, what are the odds on wearing that shirt, on the actual day you would GO TO JAIL!?
UH-OH! Hey Derrick! Is it ok if I call you Derrick, because you look like a Derrick to me. Why the long face? Are you so sad that you’re going to miss The Annual WORLD’S GREATEST DAD competition that you apparently never rehearsed for, or is that just the Wild Turkey and Oxycodone talking? Either way, hang in there Derrick, you really are a ding-dong.
Hey Kids, everybody in the pickup, Granpappy’s in the slammer again. PS, nice absence of sunshine hat.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
Clever is right! If it wasn’t for those 36 beers you used to chase down the Percocets, you would have had us all fooled. Nighty Night.